Breaking Taboos: Rethinking Marriage for People with Disabilities in South Asia - Love Beyond Limits

In South Asian societies, marriage is often celebrated as a cornerstone of life, a momentous event filled with love, tradition, and community. But for many individuals with disabilities, this dream remains a distant fantasy. The stigma, societal barriers, and lack of dialogue around marriage for persons with disabilities (PWDs) create an invisible wall that separates them from one of life's most cherished experiences. 

This silence is deafening, especially for women with disabilities, who are often excluded from even being considered for marriage, let alone approached with genuine intentions.  This is not just a personal challenge; it’s a reflection of our collective failure to build an inclusive society where every individual, regardless of ability, has the right to love and be loved. 

The Invisible Barriers 

 

In South Asia, discussing marriage proposals for people with disabilities is still a taboo. Families hesitate to address the subject, and society often sidelines individuals with disabilities when it comes to matters of love and partnership. 

Women with disabilities face even harsher realities. Often overlooked by both able-bodied men and even men with disabilities, they find themselves on the margins of the marriage narrative. While weddings flourish around them, they remain unseen, their desires unspoken, their dreams dismissed. 

And when someone does approach, the intentions aren’t always genuine. Stories abound of people exploiting people with disability—seeking financial gain, visa opportunities, or emotional leverage. 

 

The Struggles of Finding Love as a Woman with Disability

 

In my journey as a self-made woman with a disability, I've faced my share of heartbreaks, disillusionment, and exploitation. Like many others, I dreamt of a partner who would see me for who I am — not as a person defined by a wheelchair, but as a capable, loving, and independent individual. 

 

Yet, reality has been harsh. 

- Exploitation and Insincerity: One man, who claimed to love me, borrowed PKR 60,000, only to vanish when I needed him most. Another asked for a mobile phone, promising to repay me, but disappeared without a trace. 

- Manipulation of Emotions: There were those who played with my trust, lying about family pressures or other obligations, only to leave me heartbroken.  Another only requirement was to meet him alone in his room.

- Unrealistic Demands: One even had the audacity to ask me to quit my university education, saying it was the "only requirement" for our future together. I almost sacrificed my dreams, but thankfully, I realized the mistake in time and reclaimed my education with the support of my genuine friends. 

 

Such incidents aren’t isolated; they reveal how some exploit the vulnerability of PWDs under the guise of love. 

 

The Bigger Picture: Why Marriage for People with Disability Matters 

 

People with disability are often stereotyped as “dependent,” but the reality is far from it. Marriage isn’t just about companionship; it’s about building a life together. People with disabilities bring as much to the table as anyone else. Many are independent, educated, and financially secure. They can contribute equally to household responsibilities—whether it’s paying bills, managing rent, or raising children and supporting a family. Yet society’s view of them remains limited to their disabilities rather than their abilities.

 

But what do we look for in a partner? 

 

- Mutual Respect: Compatibility, respect, love, and shared values should be the foundation of any relationship, whether or not disabilities are involved. 

- Partnership, Not Pity: PWDs seek someone who sees beyond their physical or sensory challenges—a person willing to build a life together, contributing equally or one step ahead to the relationship. 

 

Here are some truths that need to be highlighted: 

 

- Person with Disability Can Be Ideal Partners: A wheelchair user marrying an abled person or someone with a hearing impairment marrying a abled body/ person with no disability can create partnerships built on mutual understanding, empathy, and shared goals. Such unions could become the ultimate “couple goals.” 

- Breaking the “Ableist” Mold: There is no rule that people with disability should only marry abled-bodied individuals. What matters is compatibility, respect, and love. A marriage between two people with disabilities can be just as fulfilling, if not more so, because they understand each other's challenges. 

- Person with Disability is Not Objects of Charity: Unfortunately, some people pursue relationships with PWDs for personal gain, such as financial stability or opportunities for international travel. These exploitative behaviors reinforce harmful stereotypes and undermine the dignity of PWDs. 

 

Breaking the Silence 

 

Families play a pivotal role in changing the narrative. It starts with acknowledging that their adults with disabilities deserve the same opportunities for love and marriage as anyone else. Parents should take the initiative to explore proposals, not out of obligation but with the belief that their children are complete individuals with much to offer. 

Society, too, must move past outdated ideas. Conversations about marriage for PWDs should be normalized, and positive stories should be highlighted to challenge stigma and inspire change. 

 

The Role of Families and Society 

 

Parents of PWDs often hesitate to discuss marriage, either because they fear rejection or believe no one will accept their child. This reluctance stems from societal taboos and a lack of awareness. But this silence needs to be broken. 

It is essential to start conversations at home, in community gatherings, and within social networks about marriage for individuals with disabilities. Highlight their capabilities, their readiness to contribute to a partnership, and their desire for companionship just like anyone else. 

 

A Personal Reflection 

As someone who has navigated the complexities of love and relationships as a woman with a disability, I’ve faced both heartache and growth. I’ve been labeled as “too independent” or accused of having “ego problems” simply for holding onto my principles. 

 

Yes, I’ve said “yes” to love before—only to be met with disappointment. To anyone who might be facing similar struggles, here’s what I’d say: 

 

1. Never Compromise on Your Dreams: Your goals and aspirations are as important as anyone else’s. Don’t let someone diminish them for the sake of a relationship. 

2. Know Your Worth: You are not defined by your disability. You are a person with talents, dreams, and an immense capacity for love. 

3. Be Open, Yet Discerning: While it’s important to remain flexible and open to possibilities, it’s equally crucial to identify red flags early on. 

4. Never Stop Believing in Love: Despite the setbacks, love remains one of life’s most beautiful possibilities. 

 

 

A Vision for the Future || Happy Beginnings – Beautiful Endings

It’s wedding season in South Asia, and while it’s rare to see brides with disabilities walking—or rolling—down the aisle, it shouldn’t be. Imagine a world where such unions are celebrated, where love transcends stereotypes and barriers.  

Let’s imagine a world where brides with disabilities grace the aisles, where grooms proudly hold the hands of their wheelchair-using partners, and where love is celebrated in all its diversity. 

To the people with disability reading this: don’t lose hope. You are deserving of love that uplifts you, respects you, and celebrates your strengths. The right person will see you for the amazing individual you are. Until then, keep shining, and keep striving.  

To families at large: It’s time to open your hearts and minds. Marriage for people with disabilities isn’t a fantasy—it’s a possibility, a reality that can and should be embraced. 

To society and communities: It’s time to start talking. Normalize marriage for people with disabilities. Challenge the stereotypes. And remember—every person deserves the chance to find their happily ever after. 

Let’s work together to create a world where no one is left waiting, where love truly knows no limits. Let’s make this wedding season—and every season after—a celebration of inclusion, love, and equality.